The Fresno Bee Carmen George column
The Fresno BeeFeb 14, 2018
"I almost cried when he gave it to me," she says of
"Just my knees," DiFalco says, offering his correction tenderly.
"Well, just your knees," Cansler says. The couple share a smile and giggle.
Sometimes finding the right words is a challenge, but loving each other is not.
DiFalco has autism -- a developmental disorder that affects a person's ability to communicate and interact with others -- and Cansler has epilepsy, a neurological disorder that delays her ability to process information and impacts some of her movements.
The Fresno couple met about three years ago at Wayfinders at
DiFalco says his grandparents, Frank and
"
Not everyone is as supportive.
"Their view is, 'They can't do that. They can't love. They can't be in a serious relationship.' " DiFalco's mother says. "Of course they can."
DiFalco, 31, and the 27-year-old Cansler have been proving the naysayers wrong since their first date, a dinner and dance organized by the Future Farmers of America chapter at
"I knew she was a good person to be around and I would gravitate to her as a friend first ... she's an awesome person to be around," DiFalco says of why he asked Cansler to be his date. "She's a joy. She's friendly, she's nice, she's loving, and I picked her because I want to be with that person. I was lacking in a little bit of that -- the happiness and going forward and stuff. And Morgan just stole my heart because that's what I wanted in a relationship."
Cansler describes their relationship as "meant to be." Both say they help each other and make the other feel better.
"Morgan can get Tyler to laugh and smile,"
DiFalco helps Cansler stay safe.
"He just looks after her and helps her manage skills that you and I take for granted,"
When cooking together in their north Fresno home, for example, DiFalco gives Cansler tasks he knows she can accomplish.
"He never wants her to feel like she can't do something, or that she has failed at something,"
They sometimes misunderstand each other and struggle with understanding one another's feelings,
"They still love each other," she says. "They still respect each other. They still want the best for each other."
Cansler's family is also supportive.
"There's really always somebody for everybody," says Cansler's mother,
The couple's next relationship goal: Get a dog that looks like one of their uncle's corgis.
Playing with his corgis is among their favorite pastimes.
DiFalco works a couple days a week on his uncle's cattle ranch in Clovis. He hopes to get more work in agriculture, while Cansler is looking for a job in child care. Their disabilities have made some employers hesitant to hire them. DiFalco says he wants the opportunity to give back to society.
"Don't take us as an inferior person," he says. "Take it as who we are as an American citizen with a disability. We have rights. We support the military. We love our country."
DiFalco also hopes people don't question his ability to have a romantic relationship. He says "love is everywhere" and "love is not just simple -- it's complex."
"You think love is only for certain individuals, certain classes, and love can be more than just that," DiFalco says. "Love for a person who is challenged or who is disabled -- they can still find love with somebody else, without family members' love. Find their soul mate, be loved and appreciated and comforted and stuff."
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