CORONAVIRUS (COVID-19) RESOURCE CENTER Read More
Add To Favorites

Balance your needs when caregiving Caregivers Corner

Maryland Gazette (MD) - 4/24/2015

Dear Mary, My mother has Alzheimer's and, although I was upset by her diagnosis several years ago, I was happy to take on the role of her primary caregiver. However, as time goes on and my mother's health deteriorates, I am finding it increasingly difficult to cope with having to continually change the way I provide care.

I am an only child and my father passed away several years ago so I'm in this alone. How do I continue doing this for possibly years to come?

Dear Reader, As your mother's Alzheimer's diseases progresses, her verbal communication skills will continue to diminish and she will find other ways to communicate; she may become frustrated and agitated or she may become passive and sedentary. It's important that you speak with her physician to understand what physical and neurological changes you can expect.

Because a caregiver can become easily overwhelmed by the changes in behavior of the person they care for, it is also important to learn as much as you can about how people living with dementia use behaviors to communicate. Practice not reacting to a situation (unless there is danger to someone); rather, learn to be proactive in your approach.

Ensure that, as your mother's needs increase, you balance your needs as well as hers. Since you don't have other family members to help out, look for assistance in neighbors and friends so you can have a break.

Anne Arundel County's Respite Care Referral Program can provide you with either a list of home care workers who are independent contractors or a list of home care agencies; these in-home caregivers can help you complete daily tasks, allowing you to share time with your mother as the daughter, not the caregiver.

Finally, as I often recommend, search out other caregivers in a local or online support group. Caregivers share their fears and their frustrations, as well as the coping skills, in an environment that is inviting and confidential.

Over the next several months, the county will be offering family caregivers a chance to participate in the Virtual Dementia Tour education program. The VDT is an excellent tool in understanding the behaviors exhibited by individuals living with dementia. Go to www.aacounty.org/aging for information on the schedule.

Dear Mary, I know that it's time to hire someone to help me take care of my husband, but I don't know where to start. Can you give me some advice?

Dear Reader, How wise of you to come to that decision!

The first thing that you need to do is to decide the days and times that you are looking for help and then make a list of the tasks that a home care worker can help with. Then you can choose whether you want to hire an independent contractor or contract with a home care agency.

Hiring an independent contractor allows you to select who will be coming into your home; however, it will require more of your time to complete the interviewing and hiring process, and you will need to have a back-up plan if the worker is unable to come on a planned day.

When contacting with a home care agency, the agency will schedule a worker(s) and should have the ability to send a replacement if the scheduled worker is unavailable.

Anne Arundel County's Respite Care Referral Program screens and trains home care workers by completing an initial and annual background investigation, reference checks, and initial and annual training. The program can also provide you with a list of questions that you can ask during the telephone pre-screening and interview process, as well as questions you can ask references provided by the worker.

To obtain names of Respite Care Referral Program workers or just the list of interview questions, contact me at the email or phone number listed below.

When checking home care agencies, you will want to ask how long the agency has been in business, as well as questions about their services, staffing, cost, staff training and care plans.

Questions and comments can be sent to Mary Chaput at the Department of Aging and Disabilities, 2666 Riva Road, Suite 400, Annapolis, MD 21401, or emailed to agchap01@aacounty.org.

Nationwide News