Treasure Coast Newspapers, Stuart, Fla., Eve Samples column

April 22--Her tone is equal parts drill sergeant and choir director.

"All right," Conney Dahn says. "Let's do it again."

The members of the Friends chorus know the cue.

They take it from the top.

With that, the cafeteria at Jensen Beach High School is transformed into a concert hall.

Children and young adults with Down syndrome, autism, epilepsy and more than a dozen other disabilities are singing or signing in unison.

Some members of the Friends chorus are wheelchair bound. Others are nonverbal.

When they arrive at the weekly rehearsal, the focus isn't on what they can't do.

It's on what they can.

"They have abilities," Dahn told me on a recent Monday after practice. "They're not these poor, pitiful people that can't do anything."

The Friends chorus is proof.

Dahn founded the choir 25 years ago, inspired by her daughter, Katy, who was born with developmental disabilities.

She started with 11 chorus members in 1989.

Today, more than 60 perform with the group.

I spoke with a half-dozen parents of members of the Friends chorus, and each of them explained what the group has meant to their children.

They said it helps them build confidence. It helps their speaking skills.

It's a social outlet.

What they won't tell you -- what you must experience for yourself -- is how much watching the Friends chorus will mean to you as an audience member.

It will force you to abandon preconceived notions.

It will help you see the people instead of the disabilities.

The songs the Friends chorus sings are about acceptance and love, as much for the benefit of the audience as for the performers.

"I want them to open their eyes to what they're seeing," said Dahn, a teacher at Jensen Beach High School who in 2006 won the statewide Teacher of the Year award.

Dahn has seen the chorus remove barriers, helping to connect some of her students with jobs.

It helps prove that people with disabilities can stay on task and control themselves.

"My mission for every one of my students is to work," Dahn said.

After a quarter century, the chorus has become a bridge between people with disabilities and the Treasure Coast community at large.

"This is about the only social thing we can do," said Meg Ponte, a Palm City resident whose 15-year-old son, Andrew, has been performing with the Friends chorus since he was 5.

Andrew was born with a duplicated chromosome and suffers from seizures. Friends chorus gives him a link to the outside world.

Dahn knows how isolating it can feel to be the parent of a child with disabilities.

When Katy was born in Dahn's hometown in Alabama, people didn't know what to say. So they avoided her.

After nine months of pregnancy, "that child is born, and it's like the baby that you expected died," Dahn said. "Then you have to go through the whole grieving process."

Only after she got past that did she started to see the possibilities.

Through the Friends chorus, she hopes to ease the transition for other parents.

That's why she still shows up at rehearsal every Monday. Since 1994, her friend Karen Hester has been there, too.

If you don't have a family member with a disability, the Friends chorus is a chance to have a meaningful encounter with those who do.

"It makes them feel special," said Terri Stewart, who has two daughters with autism who perform with the chorus. "It makes them feel important."

I promise that watching the Friends perform will make you feel that way, too.

Eve Samples is a columnist for Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers. This column reflects her opinion. Contact her at 772-221-4217 or eve.samples@scripps.com.

FRIENDS CHORUS PERFORMANCE

When: 5:45 p.m.May 20

What: Martin County School Board meeting

Where: 575 S.E. Georgia Ave., Stuart

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